Friday, July 6, 2007

Today something drastic had just happen to me n the rest... Currently down like... I don't know how to describe... shit perhaps? I didn't notice it till it happen... I thought everything was going as per normal than I saw this. My whole heart n mind kept on worrying non-stop until the final decision was made... She has decided to stay away from us... I... I... I... I can't take this.... wish this had never happen... I was it was just a dream or some sort... But sadly... I have to face reality... It happened and its true... Why did I made that same mistake again!! Baka Nazree... BBBBBAAAAAAAAKKKKKKAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Why Naz? Why? Kuso... Why am I crying... I promised not to... maybe its alrite for now... Why....

I wish I could turn back time or restart or something but its already too late for that. What has done can't be undone rite? Depression and confusion is the only thing in my mind rite now.... I don't know wat to do next... Does it end here or wat's going to happen next? I wish I can be given a second chance... To correct myself... my mistakes, my errors, my stupidity n my foolish doings... I'm sorry Sweets. Really I am. I wish I can tell u that... how I feel and to apologize to u but I'm afraid... Coward at heart... Scared to face u as I'm afraid of the outcome... I don't want it to end this way... Never had I expect this to happen...

As from wat I can see here... The group is beginning to fall apart slowly but surely it is... The group originally consist of 6 ppl...
Names: Saifullah, Chee Kian, Kelvin, Hidayat, Syed n me.

Then slowly... One person was already out... Yat was out... Some say he wasn't even part of us to begin with but "wat the hell" was my original thinking at that time... Someone once told me I'll found out why they had not include him in... and now I understand why... But its already too late... Sweets join in not long after that but most of us felt awkward until now coz she's the only girl in there. But slowly... most of us gotten suse to it but we still haven't consider her as part of us coz we're all guys. She can join anytime and we treat her as our friend... though I have feelings for her... I never did much express it to her and I almost always got jealous... But I've gotten over it accept her "fear" towards me... I... I... Not to be self-fish here but I find it rather unfair n unreasonable to me... bcoz I had not done anything wrong to her... I do sometimes scare her with my angered face due to something but she must understand that.... Sometimes I need to be angry to alert her that I don't feel rite about wat she's doing with the rest of the guys... *haish*...
GOMENASAI SWEETS.....
I wish this had never happen... I'll end here... Time to think about my next course of action... Wat am I going to do next... I'll think bout it... But I will need some time.... gomen....

Heaven Or Hell... Invert back to... Chaos mode... U ready Naz...? This is the.... I.N.E.V.I.T.I.B.L.E. end... gomenasai... everyone......
Jyane...

posted at 11:18 PM