Saturday, August 18, 2007

Been a long time since I last blog. All bcoz of the same old thing. Connection problem. Very very... how should I say it... saddening? Guess thats the word to use for now. I can't remember much what happen on the first three days of the week and on the weekends of the previous week. If I knew and remember it, I should have joint it down or something. Coz this is one method I would use to release myself. Let's get back to the topic at hand.

Monday, 13 August 2007
I receive my mother tongue O' level results and was not up to my expectations AT ALL!! I wanted and work for an A grade but instead I got a B3 grade for overall results and a D (distinction) for paper 3 which is Listening compre. and Oral. Feel damn disappointed in myself. I'm going to retake no matter what. But the next question is... whether I can cope with it or not. Got other 4 more subjects to fully concentrate on too. Oh well. Like my mum said, "This is for ur own future. I'm not stopping your decision. If you decide on retaking than you have my approval and don't you worry bout the payment. Just concentrate on your studies. Thats all I am asking from you."
I'm going to make them proud of me and I am their only hope. I'm going to push myself to the very limit coz I got nothing much to bother bout such as... nvr mind.

Thursday, 16 August 2007
Had to attend my O' level English Oral examination. I wasn't nervous at the beginning but when it was Kent's turn to face the invigilator... I was cracking a bit. I lost a bit of my concentration, thinking too much I guess. But I had to put it behind me for awhile. Soon it was Nabeel's turn and up next would be me. Syed and me had the same number which is number 6 but he was the one that finishes first. I was worried. Thought that I took too much time in the picture conversation part. The worst part was during the conversation section. One of the invigilator giggled at me when she sees me having my stammer. How could an invigilator be behaving in such a manner? Oh well. At least I'm done with my Oral exam. But I cock up a lot at the conversation section. So the chances of me getting a 30+ marks or a D grade is currently low. By the way have anyone of u seen a black pineapple before? Just kidding coz I've receive this... earth shattering sms from someone the day before. It really shock the life and heaven out of me...

Oh yea... on the day before was also one of my greatest bad luck day. First, it took place at home. I was sitting down on my chair comfortably and properly but yet I still fall down for no apparent reasons. Next was my connection. i can't surf nor chat with anyone at all for quite sum time. Up next was when I was in the "Pasar Malam" or direct translation "Night market". I just arrive there and already one car accident involving 3 vehicles occurred. Then along the way I had an upset stomach. Quite bad but not as bad as last time during NDP eve. The next problem is finding the toilet which was troublesome. Believe me the worst is when I had entered. *Yucks*

Friday, 17 August 2007
Nothing much happen. Bad luck day strikes again! It happen after my Friday prayers. I knee the basin in a toilet. Hurt myself pretty bad and u could say it as retribution. But for what I don't know. When I was walking outside the toilet I err... tripped over a rock. Pathetic. In the bus when heading back to school, I hit a few seats b4 I was able to sit down. In school... I forgot to zip my pants after I exited the school canteen toilet. No wonder Mr Koh, Mr Heng and a few Kent Ridgeans were looking at me in a weird manner but never inform me. Haish... I finally notice my zip in 15-24 mins time. THATS LONG!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Crap... In library I accidentally show my anger to Chee Kian. His kinda pissed by the tone off his. I still can't believe it that I ditch the guys off totally. Ignoring them for some time and only help them a bit in the library. I can't believe myself. I'm starting to change bit by bit. Oh well.

Oh by the way, the school's library air condition was leaking. My initial thinking was that the rain had entered the library I accidentally believe it can rain indoors too. Hehehe... Had to laugh at myself in silence. See!! Isn't this what they call bad luck?! Not to mention... lets go on shall we? Enough with the bad luck event now. Lets move on. The library was bout to close so we transfer to the canteen instead to play PSP. Total ownership I must say. Bomberman n DJ Max mania.. Of coz its owning time. While I was talking to Lalah and slacking, (bringing my mind away from any current affairs under the moon) she came over and single me out. I was blur and reluctant to move of coz. But I know what was going to happen if I follow her so I tried to find excuses not too. As you know... when it comes to persuasions... I may lose but this time I gave in. I could just walk away but I rather not coz I still care. I still have a heart unlike my old self. I'm not suppose to say bout my old self my. Don't wanna scare ppl away later. Just kidding. Hehehe..

We had a little chat and it was... how should I say it... Heart breaking? Mind bugging? Remembrance? For all I know... the whole time I was scared. Afraid to listen to her words. Afraid of the questions and afraid to even think of an answer. Tears were forming but had to fight it. Luckily I've lost the skill to cry... Who am I kidding with? All I wanted to do was to walk away... I wasn't prepared for this. To me... it had ultimately ended. I'm always afraid of any outcome. Thats one other reason why I'm afraid. I...I...I... I had to say I was fine and not to worry bout me even though I knew I am not. I think.
Well thats it for now... Jyane and chao....

Devil May Cry... Heaven's gate has close shut upon me... Has it really ended? I wonder...

posted at 6:58 AM