Tomorrow will be the day when the N level exams will officially begins. Good to u guyz who will be sitting for it. All the best!! o(^-^)o Don't give up till the very end.
Hmm... looks like I got nothing much to say rite now... not much improvement from what I've noticed. Got one whole week to spend on studying but none can be absorb for long... *haish* I feel so wasted. Hmm... here's a random question...
Name three things that you hate the most (not dislike. Must be more like hatred) and why. 1. Myself I hate myself quite a lot. One is for being weak. The other is... how to say this... born as a failure I guess. Hehehehe... Well if looking on the optimistic way... being a failure isn't that bad rite? I mean at least I know what I am. The other one is me having this pathetic, idiotic and rather ridiculous emotions!! Maybe the reasons below will help explain more...
2. My Emotions Well I really hate emotions and feelings a lot coz they affects me much. Like let's say I'm happy. I'll be smiling and hype up quite a bit and when I'm suddenly angry or down... people around me will be much affected too. The real emotion I hate is... hmm... Its not hate but more to "I don't really need it anymore" kind of feeling and that emotion is LOVE. Come' on. Without it I can do a lot of things without having to be bothered by such matters like for example liking someone then getting your own feelings hurt in the process coz the other party just doesn't like you or they are just using you for their own benefits or your progress was somehow how going well then suddenly there was a fuck'd up problem that your whole "perfect" ideas were instantly demolished in a blink of an eye. I mean if I don't have this feeling I can easy go with the flow of life without me having to waste my "precious" time on such wasteful matters rite?
3. My expression My expression... I do hate it a lot. What I hate bout it is my face is usually those angry type of face so people will find it hard to approach me. The other thing is I'm not good at hiding things using my face. People around me can guess that I'm hiding something and saying "Its obvious. U can't hide it. Your face says it all". I'm trying my best to hide it and acting up but still people can see through it. Its hard you know. Some say just be normal but if I do that then I'll be 24/7 in depression face or angered face. I don't think they will like it if that happens....
Now that you have chosen three things that you hate the most, imagine yourself not having them in our life at all. What do you thing will happen? Do you still want it to disappear if you are given the choice to?
1. If I were not to have myself then I would die in the process... my existence is no longer needed. I rather carry on with myself intact.
2. If I were to lose this emotion... then I won't be able to love again... Thats a good and bad thing. The good thing is I won't be bothered to liking someone and wasting myself but the bad thing is I will lose something precious in my life. An emotion that keeps one's alive and looking forward to a new future. An emotion that brings people together. A feeling that makes you closer to people and the feeling of having someone to be loving you. This applies to every aspects of life. Family, friends and someone whom you dear the the most...
I'd rather keep it even though I'll be hurt in the process. At least I am still able to love someone and that would be quite sufficient for me to carry on a bit though that person may or may not like me. I'm fine with it for a while. Let me be in my own fantasy that will only happen in dreams of one who cannot achieve such things in life... Hehehehe...
3. Not having expressions would be deadly to me coz people will avoid me even more coz I'm lifeless in the face of others. So I rather keep it and try to better my act next time around.
Guess all this is important to me although to me it seems rather useless. Rather more considered as a setback to me. Really. I'm keeping them for others around me. To make them happy is good enough. Like I said before... I LIVE TO SUFFER.
