Monday, December 8, 2008

Sometimes I wonder to myself... Is love alone really enough? That's a question I've been askin myself lately. Unknown to myself, I'm worried bout somethin. I feel it in my heart but I don't even know, let alone understand, what I'm worried bout. The more I try to search, the more confuse I become. So I guess I leave that part alone for now. I should just concentrate on the question at hand though I don't really have the answer now. All I do know is that love is important in certain aspect of life. It is important in relation to love but is it enough to sustain somethin that is complicatin?

In theory that I discover through experience, trust is need to sustain a relationship even in friendship and family. But for every human hearts, there is always a corner of darkness that lurks in every heart. Envy is one of them. Sometimes when we try our very best to contain it, it just gets stronger but it doesn't last forever. In my case, a simple kiss on the cheek is enough to cure it.

Trust is also a problem that times. For example, hearin somethin in an instant can cause an immediate reaction. Be it of anger, envy or negative thoughts, not to mention joy and happiness dependin on the subject that is being heard. Sight can also affect trust. As a sayin goes, "seein is believin" and "actions speak louder than words". I do admit that I tend to act on impulse. Meanin that I tend to sometimes think negatively or react in an angry manner straight. But for the above problems, I'm tryin my best to get better and I admit once again that it isn't easy and I'm still tryin. For I do not want to hurt the person I love most with my stupid act of harshness.

Before I end, I would like to add somethin. My mom once told me that if I really want to love someone of a different race, I have to be able to accept their culture, ideas and perspective. If Im not able to, it's better to stop and pack up. Now I understand what she meant by that. It was hard for me but I'm startin to be able to accept her views of some of her curiousity of tryin somethin new. I shall not stop her and I'm actually willing to try it with her. Explorin somethin new that I've never done before and thought of it in such negativity but now I'm tryin to be more open to other culture and venture on. If I don't like it, I'll stop but not avoid it and stop her if she finds it suitable for her. Baby, I'm sorry for stoppin you from doing somethin that you wish to try. If you still want to, I don't mind accompanyin you. I'm willin too. I shouldthank my heart for understandin me that lovin someone requires more than just sacrifices. You'll also have to be open to some stuff and not be too preventing. If you love somene, you have to mature in both mind and soul. Not only in the heart. For that, I love you little angel.

Oh by the way, those things that I mention above is not meant to hurt nor target anyone. It's just somethin I feel like typin bout and now I feel better. Thanks for listenin my friend. Eh? I know this may sound weird but I'm sensing her. Somehow my hand smells like her. Awww....now I miss her more....I better stop sniffin my hand before my mom labels me a lunatic for smellin my own hands for no apparent reason. Thank you.

As a side note, I will always love you and the most. I'm tryin my best to better myelf for you and myself. Though the only thing that I know and best at is lovin you, I'll keep at it and do my best to make you happy. If there's anythin you wish me to change or improve on, please do tell me.

posted at 2:27 PM