Monday, February 23, 2009

*Cryin* ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T It's the first hour of my birthday and I've made my baby cry!! *smack head against computer table* (I really did this) AAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHH...the pain...ooowww...my mum just asked me what the hell just happened and to her surprise she saw my little hum over the head. Currently now being question by mum why and what really happen.

(6 mins later) Everythin is fine now but I had to lie to my mum sayin that I tried to do stunts on my comp chair and fallen off. Luckily my mum buy it but still...it hurts like **** even now...but hey, somethin like isn't much as compared to what I did to her emotionally. I just I can concentrate later on during my phase test... just when things are gettin better (to me that is) I had to screw it up... I even screw up yesterday... all thanks to MY STUPIDITY and LUCK!!

How I wish can just turn back time and prevent all that from happen! What can I do now? What should I be doing? Please someone...anyone...show me a way...a way to make things better... please... I've been sufferrin day and night in silent. I've fallen into an abyss that is so deep that I've not yet found the bottom of it... Someone please help me! I don't want to be hurt anymore either. Please, guide me anyone. I have tried to share with others but it helps only temporary until somethin else happen. I don't know how much more I can take before I break...I just wish to be together again. I've even have forgotten how real happiness is like. I want to feel the softness and happiness of being loved by someone that I love. You can call me anythin you want. Crazy, desperate or whatever you may want to call me. I don't mind because I feel that way too but everythin that you may call me.

I feel so down right now.............guess I'll take my leave now Zan... I don't wanna burden you with such unnecessary stuff bout myself. I'll just keep to myself until some kind soul approach me to ask or help. Sayounara...

posted at 12:20 AM