Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Yosh!! How are you? Me? Hehehe... I feel that my brain ain't workin properly for the time being. Hehe.. Want to know why? I accompanied Es and Yasir to Tekka for their lunch. Both of them are my classmates and from the same group too. I already taken my lunch in school and by the time they were eatin i suddenly lost my appetite... got too caught up with things inside my mind and over some conversation I had with both of them inside bus. OH!! Speakin of that! I think someone has taken a likin to me already but it isn't somethin to be happy with. This person has been smilin at me since the time this person board the bus and sittin behind Yasir. The problem here isn't bout the looks but more towards the gender... I know I may look like a girl wearin this hair band but please... a soft-guy was smilin at me from time to time... HELP!!!!

After they finish takin their lunch, we walk around some more. Gosh... I have been to that place for God knows how many times... I usually come to Tekka for like twice every year but thanks to Yasir, it's like a weekly routine. Provided I followed him that is. Problem starts when we were waitin for bus to head home. I knew there is a bus 147 at the bustop that I was headin towards to and just nice Es's and Yasir's bus came so they board first. I went to the bus information board to check where does the 147 last stop and I went O_O *points middle finger*. I can't forget the faces of some waitin passengers who were observin me lookin at the board and shocked with my sudden reaction. All of them went (O) _ (O)!! Hahahahahaha!!! I board the bus and retook the same bus service at Hougang station back to Clementi. What a long ride. Alone some more! I was smilin like an idiot lookin at some of the couples sittin in front. Technically is because I was happy for them but when I slide my phone, hehe... the weather outside the bus turned gloomy. Really!! It wasn't because I was sad! It was even rainin inside the bus at the seat that I was sitting!!

Can't wait for Saturday to come! Can't wait to see all of them once again. ;P NOT!! If I were to say that only, I'm partially lying. I actually can't wait to see her more than anyone of them. If I am to miss anyone fisrt and deepest, it will be her though I will try not to show it as I do not want to be of a nuisance to her in any manner. I wanted to call her just now before she goes to sleep but she's not used to it anymore as noone calls her at night anymore. The last time I called her was on the Sunday I think and it was less than a minute as she was busy on msn, webcammin. I long to hear her sweet and cheerful voice, long to see her beauty and gorgeousness of an angel again but... I stupidly ignored this feeling and keepin it to myself. Why? Because I do not want to disturb her when she is with her friends and also because I'm afraid of her. I don't know whether am I doin a correct thing but all I know is that I want to see her smile. If possible, I want to be together with her again. I will be waitin, tryin. This is my only wish. I will do my best to prove to her that I have changed! I will do my best to win her heart if possible! I will do my very best!!

Hehe... I think I'll stop here then. Gettin a little sleppy here. Bye bye!!

posted at 11:09 PM


I just reach home. Damn tired right now but I had fun. I went out with Kel directly after I finish my class and both of us didn't go home first because we were wearin school uni until we reach home like now? I met him first at Changi Airport and I arrive there at 5pm. He looks like a bus conductor as he waits near the bus stand. Regretted not takin a photo of him in that area. We then head towards a lift inside the terminal 3 and proceed to second floor and guess what!!?? There was an F1 simulation game there!! Both of us had a go at it but as expected....Kel was glued to it. It was difficult as it was quite accurate like a real vehicle.

There are two types of simulation. One is a PC game type whereby you sit on a chair and control your F1 car usin a steerin wheel and lookin at a laptop. The second type was the best but I couldn't record it. The moment I wanted to, noone was drivin it. The second type is whereby you will sit on this replica of an F1 and drive it like a real car with 3 monitors at the front to make the whole atmosphere seem more surround. Not only that! When you accelerate, the replica will more foward dependin on how fast and hard are you acceleratin. When you brake, the car will move backwards too! If you crash or hit the side.... the whole car will shake will a real crash and the feelin isn't a wonderful kind... I'll be uploadin the pics later.

We then head towards BK to eat. God!! Did you know Kel is currently admirin a classmate of his and he is our senior in NCC? JUST KIDDIN!!!! Why I assume so? Because of the way he pronounce his name. It sounded sweet and polite! Hehe... sorry Kel!! We had a great time there!! Makin random talks and laughin hre and there. From Changi Terminal 2, we headed down to Hougang interchange. We couldn't sit because the bus was pack... that really stunned both of us. Even in bus we could still joke and play around. Seriously... HEHE... this is what happen if I go out with either Lalah, Yat or Kel. Just me and either one of them is able to make the world a happy place!! Really thank you!! Then from there we board 165 back to Clementi.
If everythin is ok, by this Saturday, everyone should be able to make it. For those who can't, it alright. There will be another time. Confirmed people who can go is Me, Yat, Kel, Chick and Hamster. I just hope the other two can make it. Alright then, I shall stop here for the time being. Oh!! I forgot somethin! I'm sorry I came home late again! I hope you won't get angry! This is the first time after several weeks that I am home after my curfew. Hope you won't get angry.



Ah ha! See Kel in action! (He crashed a lot but when I recorded it, he didn't crash at all... oh! Sorry for the low quality. I didn't use my camera to take)
Some random crap that my classmate did. Hidayat is his name. I'm the small person with side view.


A helmet used by F1 racers but I think this one is just a model only.

A jacket used by the racers. Should be a model too...hmm...



Kel and me! Hehe... it's rare for him to allow me to take his photo. Thanks.


One of the model helmet. There's a total of four.



The whole display for the accesories used by the racers. 2 jackets and 4 helmets. Must be warm if I were to wear them. Kel and me managed to touch it!!! OOOOOO~


The 2nd type for the simulation game. It's really big!!

The other type of simulation. Total of four. Eh? Who ish that person? Hehe... cameraman caught in line of fire.

Kel in action. He was in a panic state as his car crash to the side.

posted at 12:26 AM


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Yosh! I didn't realise that this week is already the third week of school. Haish... I'm becomin more tired of school. I just feel like not comin for Thursdar class because of PE and Life Skill class but... I will still go because I've made a promise never to not attend class unless I am ill or if there's urgent matters. Oh! Talk bout illness, I'm startin to feel ill too! A slight headache currently with slight dizziness or should I say it is more towards being dizzy. My stomach is givin me problems too. It can seem to digest the food properly.

If this still continue, I'll go see a doctor. I don't know what is goin on with my body again. I just hope I don't faint in school coz I do not want to trouble anyone and I must be alright to go for an outing that I help Yat to make. If let's say I am not feelin well on that day, I'll will still go but I'll pretend that everythin is ok. I think this sickness of mine is due to I miss some of you guys. It's been quite some time since I last meet. Even if I just met some of them like one week ago, it is still considered long enough for me to miss them. Ah crap... now I feel like a pregnant lady. Headache, dizziness and now a feeling of wantin to throw up and slight increase of body temperature. I think I'll go rest now. I can't really take it for now. Take care everyone!

posted at 12:28 AM


Monday, April 27, 2009

Hello hello hello!! How are you my friend? Haha.. I trust that you are doin fine for the time being? That's good to hear. Me? Well, here I am goin to tell you of my current progress. It has been a week now and I doin quite ok. Not that well but I can't say that I am doin great too. I'm enjoyin life as it is with my old pals. I still can't really get used to my classmates. No matter how close I am to them, I am always much, much, much more closer to my old friends. Especially to one of them but alas, I shall not mention it as everyone is currently movin on with their own lives, except me. I feel like I'm still stuck in time. Like my time has stop at the moment.

But worry not. I am still doin fine all this while. Just a slight coughin here and there, a little throat discomfort (like sore throat) and talkin to myself from time to time. Somehow I get this feelin like what I say, think and feel does not matter to some anymore. More like being ignored or forgotten. It's like if I want to show some support to others but the other party does not seem to be bothered by it or even what's to acknowledge it. If it so that I am to be avoided, I shall accept it but please, let me know of it. Now I need to plan a little outin for Yat though the only thing I can do is to gather everyone, if possible, and make confirmation with them. I hope everyone can make it but if some of them can't, it's okay.

Among all the things that matters to me, you guys are the ones that I cherish the most. Hehe... I know that this may sound evil and bad but among all of us, only one of us matters the most to me. I wanna protect that smile of your's. The sweet and lovely smile of your's by bringin you happiness and company if I am given the chance too.

posted at 12:04 AM


Friday, April 24, 2009

What a hectic day... You spoilt my day you know that!! You little... Why must have enter my life today and irritate me further?! I was enjoy myself, listenin to music and then all of a sudden you flash across my eyes, causin me to feel shocked and annoyed at the same time! AARRRGGGGHHH!!!

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't angry at anyone. I was, in fact, angry with this bee that entered a single deck bus when I was still inside. It kept flyin here and there with me thinkin that it acn sting anyone at any moment! Includin me! I was like behavin rather like a moron. Movin here and there in the bus while most of the passengers wasn't bothered by the bee at all! I was very cheerful all the way until the bee enters from the back door. In my mind, "Oh shit, what a nice timin for somethin like this to disturb me and embarass me."

I swear that the next time I ever see a bee enterin the same bus as me, I'll alight from the bus and wait for the next one to come. I hate insects with stingers or those that can fly and are big in size. Sorry ah everyone who is readin this. I'm not angry at anyone. I was just angry with the bee.

posted at 3:24 PM


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What a good way to kill time huh? I really hope this will take somethin off my mind... thanks chick.

1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?
-I am! Hope what chick says works.

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
-What?! First question is already bout this? CHICK!!
-No. It wasn't a mistake. It felt like a gift from the heaven to a peasant like me. An angel.

*No.3 is missing...*

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
-My baby

5) Do you regret it?
-I regret not being able to tell her that I love her everyday and night...

6) Have you ever been depressed?
-I already am.

*No.7 is missing...*

8) Are you a boy or girl?
-small boy!!

9) What is your relationship status?
-Single....CHICK!! This questions ain't helpin to take my mind off something!!

10) How do you want to die?
-I'll ask the person I'm with to take a knife a stab me. If possible, right now.

11) What did you last eat?
-Air

12) Play any sports?
-No

13) Do you bite your nails ?
-used to

14) When was your last physical fight?
-Ages ago

15) Do you have an attitude?
-I used to have it

16) Do you like someone?
-Nope
17) What is your real name?
-It's somewhere up

19) Are you gonna get high later?
-does smokin considered?

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
-yes. myself

21) Do you miss someone?
-YES!

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
-I just slurp them in

23) Do you tan a lot?
-I wish I was fair so I can attract people. Just kiddin.

24) Have any pets?
-used to have. Fishes, mouse and hamster.

25) How exactly are you feeling?
-I'm feelin really low...I need...T_T

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
-At times.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
-nope

28) Would you take any of your exes back?
-I'd love too if I was to be given another chance...

29) Are you scared of spiders?
-I squish them!

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
-YES!

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
-Yea

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
-I have no plans.

33) Do you want to have kids?
-Yes but it depends with my future wife

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?
-No. I will only kiss one person. Not multiples.

35) Do you type fast?
-Can but I just don't

36) Do you have piercings?
-plannin to..

37) Want any more?
-What thing more?

38) Can you spell well?
-can

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
-Does a few minutes ago counts?

40) What are you craving right now?
-love and affection of a lover

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
-nope

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
-wanted too but was scared

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
-nope

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
-yes I have and I regretted it even till now...

46) Have you ever been cheated on?
-Nope

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
-yes.... I'm really sorry...
-CHICK!! This really isn't helpin!!

*No.48 is missing...*

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
-if the person always

50) What should you be doing?
-find somethin that I've lost

51) What’s irritating you right now?
-Lost somethin...

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
-yea

53) Does somebody love you?
-I wish so

54) What is your favorite colour?
-orange

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
-yes

*No.56 is missing...*

57) Do you have trust issues?
-can say

*No.58 is missing...*

*No.59 is missing...*

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
-just normal...

*No.61 is missing...*

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
-maybe

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
-shut up...this questions are depressin me further...

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
-not really

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
-it's not easy to forgive but it's more difficult to forget

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
-it's the worst...last year was the greatest

67) What was your child hood nickname?
-botak

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
-when I was little

*No.69 is missing...*

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
-some does, some are just too unreasonable!!

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
-Cry...

*No.72 is missing...*

73) What is bothering you?
-Can't get over somethin...

74) Have you ever been out of your province?
-yes

75) Do you play the Wii?
-nope

76) Are you listening to music right now?
-no

77) Do you like Chinese food?
-yes

78) Do you know your fathers b-day?
-he doesn't care so why should I?

79) Are you afraid of the dark?
-nope

80) Is cheating ever okay?
-In games, yes.

81) Are you mean?
-I pretend to be mean so that others will not see my soft side...

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
-For a few hours yes

*No.83 is missing...*

84) Do you believe in true love?
-definitely

*No.85 is missing...*

*No.86 is missing...*

*No.87 is missing...*

88) Do you like the outside?
-not on rainy days

89) Are you currently bored?
-more towards sad...

90) Do you wanna get married?
-Yes!

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
-yes but why do you have to remind me? YOu really want me to die is it?

92) Are you hungry?
-yes but i don't plan on eatin at all today

93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
-i don't know

94) What makes you happy?
-being able to love her again...

95) Would you change your name?
-maybe...i think i wanna change it to pathetic instead

96) Ever been to Alaska?
-to see bears? Nope

98) Do you watch the news?
-everyday

99) What’ s your zodiac sign?
-baba black sheep!! goat!!

100) Do you like Subway?
-i prefer bus

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
-Yes...

103) Do you talk like your friends?
-at times

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
-Nope. I don't avoid my friends. They are valuable to me.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
-think so

107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
-Chuanru...it hurts callin her by her name...

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
-yes

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
-I can't remember...should be baby, chick or hailmi

110) Favorite lyrics right now?
-Gerbera by MUCC

111) Can you count to one milllion?
-I can but what's the point?

pple i'd like to do this...
Anyone...


Yes!! I've survive the questionaire!!

posted at 8:21 PM


Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm feelin down currently. I just can't seem to get her off my mind. It's like the first time I'm being close to her. Like the first time I love her. I just can't seem to stop. I'm tearin but not of joy...it's sad... tears of sadness... If just one wish can be granted, I would wish for her to come back to me... I've tried not to make those mistakes and... and... and cheep cheep is succeedin!! I can do it! I can do it! I can do it... I can... I can... if only I had done it in the past... I could have save this... Come back... come back... come back to me...

I will carry on and hope... hope for a better tomorrow. I wish to be yours again... and only yours, little angel...

posted at 1:17 AM


Sunday, April 19, 2009

Hello. Just got back home. Kinda tired but that's not important. Had fun today. Playin a new game inside the bus, meetin the old group like a reunion before an endin. OH! By the way, I have this weird feeling that today's event is weird. Like it was tryin to cheer me up or celebrate it. For example, when I was sendin baby off, Kelvin started this game of mini soccer by kickin this pellet like candy but it disappeared after awhile. So I thought of usin one of my slipper as a replacement to entertain Kelvin, Lalah, baby and me. It was a good choice. I had fun but sadness kept on clingin onto me.

After sendin baby off, the three of us went to take bus 78 home but suddenly the bus became a non-service bus because someone vomitted on the bus seat. The driver took out the whole bus plate and soon after that, the whole journey was super fast. Next is the most unexpected thing. On the road between Kelvin's opposite house bustop to Lalah's house bustop, there was a car accident. A car just drive through the dividers and got stuck in the middle. The was not heavily damaged but the dividers were pulled out of the center lane. That's why I say that today is a weird day.

As of tomorrow, I'll be alone for quite sometime. I am a failer, a loser and one of the worst guys....

posted at 11:35 PM


Saturday, April 18, 2009

I've been listenin to this song titled "Stream of Tears (more trance remix)." It was introduce to me by Kelvin when he was playin Maximum tune 3 DX. The song is great. It has no lyrics. The music is sufficient to make you understand the inner feelin. It gives you that that sad feelin while drivin on an empty road or it's like walkin on a road and all around you are strangers that mean nothin to you.

It makes me feel a little better when I hear it while Kelvin is playin. If I were to play the game with this particular song, I may tear while drivin on the Wangan road. Those times of great and grieves, will all flash in my one by one. Givin one a feelin of hope, faith, love and regret. I'll upload the song when I can find the time. I hope you will like it too.

I am left with 2 more days. The remainin time seems to consume me with anxiety. I wish this moment will last forever. I don't want them to be part of my momeries but to be part of me. If I can make things right once more, I will make it come true. This will be a promise that I will ensure I will keep. As of now, I want to give my best to you.

posted at 12:51 AM


Friday, April 17, 2009

I reach home around 15 minutes ago and I'm really bored right now. I don't think bored is the right word to be use. I don't feel bored at all. Just restless and uneasy. And lookin at the time, I only have 2 days remainin and I have not make full use of it! I'm the worst....

posted at 11:56 AM


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Have you been in a situation where by you have a time limit that may decide your fate? What will you do if that happens to you? Although the time may seem so crucial and depressin, I would rather enjoy it until the end and see the results. I see it as a positive result. That way, I won't be so down just because of what I am thinkin. Good things will come if I believe, do good and be patient.


God!! How I miss my dear baby so much!! Tomorrow I have no class and to make things worst, my timetable ends early for most days. What's the depressin part? I miss her so much I could cry any moment she say I can meet her or have to wait longer and that she will not be free until Sunday!! For someone who misses my baby this much, I don't think I can handle it. I think I can only last until Thursday. Friday I confirm burst. It's like I'm waitin for her to return from some place for 20 years or more.

I miss my baby's company. Her laughter, her smile, her presence. I miss you so much baby!! Cheep cheep can't take it much more!! T_T

'3' me wish to see you soon!! Really soon!!

posted at 11:47 PM


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Yosh! So long no see! How have you been? Great I hope. First up, I finally defeated the guy that uses theory to drive in Initial D street Stage which is the PSP version and currently I'm playin the map that my baby loves to watch. I've been playin Mafia Wars all this while too and also not to mention my current favourite game which is Pet Society. This two games are good but not great. It's fun to play to ease that stress that have been buildin up in one's mind and body.

Damn, school startin soon and HELL I didn't really enjoy my school holidays....(shit...) I only enjoy the beginnin of my holidays and towards the end. Some parts in between aren't that good. Like sittin at home, rottin, can't go out because either friends are workin, CCA, out with other friends or totally does not want to see me or because of changes here and there that cuts my social time. New teachers are goin to teach and I have a great feelin bout Monday. Not because of new teachers but bout my hair. It's long.

Talk bout hair, I suddenly feel like cuttin my hair away. I don't mind it at all. Not because I don't like it or hate it. I love it because it is baby's design though the back had to be trim because it was too long. I just feel like it because things around me feels different so maybe by doin this I'll start anew? It's a stupid thinkin I know. I won't cut. I promise!

Somethin caught my eyes just now. A letter on my comp. It makes me laugh in tears readin it. She is so sweet, ever so sweet. I'm a disappointment to a few, namely myself. Haish.....

posted at 4:24 AM


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Yoshiku!! I was clearin up some of my text messages from my current phone which is the Nokia 5300. In the midst of the button mashin, message deletion, I found a lot of messages that I long to see once again. I miss these messages a lot. They are filled with meanings that only the heart can understand.

I miss hearin and seein the 4 letter word. No no, not the 4 letter word that begins with "F". Perhaps I should rephrase. I miss hearin and seein a sentence that illuminates a darkened heart, a gloomy heart or a heart that longs for a touch of love like mine, and it contains 3 words that can only be expressed from the heart with deep thoughts, intention, emotion and sincerity.

How I long to hear those words again. Once heard, it will have a major effect on me like overflowin happiness, a smile that lasts a lifetime, a heart filled with love, security, joy and remedy. It's like a medicine that cures an illness of the heart.

Look at the time! I shall end here my friend. I hope I'll be able to hear those lovely phrase again, more than just once.

posted at 12:41 AM