Friday, July 31, 2009

Sial la... For now, I wanna tyoe in my own language. Why? Well, I can type in wadever language that I want to plus noone bothers to visit Zan except me and one other bro of mine. Eh?! Bingit la sial! Kerana kau, kita semua tak jadi keluar kau tahu tak?! Kau cakap Friday nak jumpa dengan kita orang semua tapi, kat mane kau sekarang?! Kau bilang dengan aku kau tak free. Kau tak terfikir macam mane aku dan Thac sedang rasa di dalam hati sekarang? Macam mane kau nak fikir. Kau sibuk dengan kawan kawan sekolah kau. Kau tauh yang kita orang semua ni dah tak penting lagi. Jangan buat kita orang begini macam la bodoh! Kalau aku seorang sahaja ok, tapi, kawan kita dari luar negeri dah sampai tapi kau macam tak ambil kisah.

I'll stop here. Gonna meet someone. For those who do not understand and wants someone to translate for you, go get your own or why not, ask your friend?

posted at 6:26 PM


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gah!!! Damn... I feel so stressed out damn it!! What the FUCK!! I don't give a damn bout the use of innocent language for now... just FUCK IT la... My mornin was spoilt all thanks my pessimistic thoughts and a CLASSMATE of mine. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE DID?! HE FREAKIN CHABOT YESTERDAY'S GMP CLASS AND TELLIN MY CA THAT HE WAS PAYIN HIS SCHOOL FEES. Which dumb asshole would believe that? YOU TELL ME? Even my teacher DIDN'T fall for it. NICE TRY DUDE. DUE TO UR FUCKIN LIES, NOT ONLY U KENA SCOLDIN FROM TEACH, WE KENA HER BLOODY LECTURE DAMN IT!!


It's not bout the lecture that I mind, it's wad she said to US ALL that makes the WHOLE CLASS is a PISSED OFF MOOD. Thanks ah FRIEND!! To summaries wad she said, she looks down on us in a way of academic wise. I don't blame her coz she is really worried for us so I'm not all out angry wif her but for my classmate... pray hard man. U WON'T NO WAD'S COMIN FOR U TMR IN SCHL. And I thought once I reach home, I'll be at ease but hell no... on the way home, I fell half asleep and kept on bangin Athena onto the left side of the bus glass window. WAD THE FUCK... I'M SORRY ATHENA!! I'LL TREAT U WIF MORE CARE!! I PROMISE COZ u are the only female that will be there for me for the time being... Go online I also get PISSED OFF. WHY? I don't wanna say... I pity yat for havin to hear me unleash so much... sry ah yat and thanks for listenin. I'm not fine yet.


On the last note b4 I continue later on, FUCK U TO ALL THAT I AM ANGRY WIF. IF I CAN DO SOMETHIN RITE NOW, IT WILL BE TO KILL ONE OF U. But I won't ^^

posted at 2:00 PM


Friday, July 24, 2009

Yosh Zan! Hehe.. I'm ok now. THat image no longer haunts me in my free time. I just pray that that person's soul will be at peace somewhere. With that aside, I can get back on track and focus ahead.


Remember what I said yesterday? I said that I have a lot to tell you about and I couldn't speak properly due to yesterday's incident? Yup, I'm goin to tell you all that I can right now! Hehe.. I'm back to normal now. No longer that emo and downed Naz anymore. Once in a while being sad got la but depressed is no longer. After I was lectured by someone, seeing that Supra for the 2nd time and reflecting, I finally feel lighter. So I can say that the usual Naz is back!! Yea!! Nothin has change so yea, worry not ^3^v


I want to apologise to God for behavin in such manner during my depression period. Being ignorant and others. But yet He is so patient with someone like me. Thank you~ But the whole reason why I was so depressed was not because of someone's fault but actually it's bout me creatin this "barrier" of lies and try to run away from reality and from what I really want and hope for. What do I mean by runnin away from reality? It's not the part that I am now single. Nono, coz that part I hav acceptted it a long time ago bcoz it is partly my fault. But what I mean by runnin away from reality is actually runnin away from what my heart says and fillin it up with lies like I am heartless, being anti-social is great, ignore those that are around me, ignorin my heart will make me more happy and those sort of stuffs but after several events that orbits around me, I finally woke up.


Runnin away doesn't help for me. It only makes it worst. It made me more depressed, angry, agitated, upset with life, with God, anti-social, does not care for one bit about anyone and so on. But after realisin this irrelevent mistakes that I made on purpose and liftin that layer of "barricade" that I hav been hidin behind, I'm feeling far better and happy now! Serious! I'm not kidding! Hehe~ The reflectin part? Well, it's just some backtrack on those things that I do to myself to make me so depress. Yup. After talkin to one of my bros, I came to realise this question that I hav been askin myself for quite some time. Why did got gave me this heart of mine that can love someone unconditionally? Is there a reason for it?


My previous answer to this particulaer question was that He had nothin better to do or just that He wanted to touture me in a certain way. But now, with a clear mind annd heart, I'm goin to change my answer. My answer is this, He is never evil and goodness is what He sees and gives to those that believe and guides those that are lost in many ways. For everythin that He creates, there is always somethin good in it. So what's good bout havin such a heart? Well, my answer for that is this. Not many are able to hav such a heart. He gave me this heart to me to show to others what love and care really means to one person. Maybe He is tryin to show that He loves all like how I love her? Hehe.. that's what I think and I am greatful to Him for this heart.


And I get this feeling that what I did in the past was not enough, as in, somethin is missin. A loving heart that knows how to love and show love and care may not be enough and maybe due to that, He made me walk this path to fulfil those that are missing. Just a maybe. I got this idea after speakin to one my bros, liking and loving someone isn't just bout having feelings and caring. I realise that watchin over someone isn't enough too. Being there for them is important. But for the time being, I want to be that person that will be there for any thing and for any reason. Like how I was usually before I turned emo. Hehe.. I want to show my appreciation to eeryone that I care for. But I kinda scare some people due to one sms that I send to some. They thought I was being random or tryin to suicide or somethin but I was only tryin to thank them instead. Hehe.. but everythin was alright after I explained to them and I'm sorry to those that did not receive bcoz of the way the others got confused, I dare not send it.


So yea, to summarise everythin, I am now doing fine and I am back to normal. Hehe~ Thanks everyone! So what am I goin to do now after acceptin what my heart says to me? Well... It's a secret!! It makes things more fun with suspense rite? OOOO come on Zan, play around with me a bit. But yea, it's a secret~ Is there anyone in my mind? That's a secret too!! I can't tell you everythin rite Zan? Keipo sia you! Hehe.. just kiddin! Don't merajuk la~ A last note before I end here for today, I told this to Kel over dinner and his reply to me was this,

"FINALLY, that is what I wanted to hear from you and it's good to see you are ok now. I thought I need to wait longer to hear that from you. So no more dumb stuff". Can't forget that face of his when he heard the whole thing. His face was like glowin with s bright smile. Then he indirectly ask me what am I goin to do next and my reply was, "that oe you hav to wait until I hav the courage. It's my first time mah!" That's all for now. See ya all!!

posted at 9:43 PM


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Zan!!! Help me Zan!!! I can't get somethin out of my mind!! I... I... I saw someone died in front of me this mornin in a road accident... The person that passed away was a motorcyclist... I saw him... there lyin down and I can't get that image out of my mind!! Plus now I feel rather uneasy. I don't really know why... my mornin was kinda screw up. My first lesson was SYI and I usually can finish earlier than most people but I ended up being the third last to complete. T_T and I'm hungry rite now!! T_T

Think I'm traumatised but that event? Maybe but all I know is that that image gives me the chills... I hope I'll be okay soon.... I wanna talk to people but I scared noone is free currently... I guess I'll just wait until someone kind enough to see this post and call me. Hey, I shud be takin the initiative to call others! But... I see how... thaks for hearin me out Zan... I'll come again later...coz there's so many that I wanna tell you today but was stopped for a while due to that fateful event...

posted at 5:14 PM


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Hello~! I'm here to give a short post on my Dragonica adventure! Will update more properly later at night. Hehe.. sry sry! Here you go!
My first 1000 monster kill!! Okok... I know it's rather noob but still! It's my first! Yea!!



Look who's here? It's LULUbell with a rare monster encounter! Sarasvati! (Was helping CR out to complete quest and leveling)

Yea!! LULU owned the rare monster single handedly! Btw, this rare monsters only respawn once every few hours like 2~5 hours. Time varies from monster to monster.


An Oracle (3rd class for Acolythe). Power huh? Soon we will have a very powerful Aco in team that in growing in strength as we speak. Yea!! Yea!! theREJECTs rocks!!



Another photo of the Oracle.



Some more...



More....


Last one... @_@ I prefer our soon to be Oracle picture instead.



Sambaba in 1 star map. Look at his weapon *shocked*



The chaos map loading screen. Notice the alternate self of the monster on the other side? Hehe..



A swarm of them!! Check out the glow~ Btw, Chick was with me at that time. Thanks for the help chick!!



More pics.



White Tooth alternate colour! *Awed* cool huh? Glowing trim.



Time to boogie~ with the grizzly and the flashy skeletons! Boogie~



Check out my IGN being flash acros the map! Hehe.. I defeated Usar, the rare monster for Artis area map. Check out the party team above. It's the whole full party guild!! (Was scolded by our Deputy leader for leaving her behind for a short while while I went looking for the monster. Me really sorry CR!! Gomen gomen!!)



This is how Usar looks like. A mummified monster with two jewelled arms.



PVP loading screen. See whether can you name some of the classes that appeared. Hehe..



Three of the guild members. Zanzan (me), LULUbell (CR aka LULU hime) and Saniiro (Chick). Proud founders of the guild is zanzan, LULUbell and Juliecore (Rox).
Current proud and friendly members of the guild: zanzan, LULUbell, Saniiro, yatodile, Angelican, DoctorKS, FantasyLuv, FruitTips, LouisHong, crazyDrago, AluViZZ, plurplupe and last but not least, pwner.

Hehe!! theREJECTs is love!! Thank you to all the members for supporting the guild and making this adventure a fun time for everyone! May we all stick together always~ All the best to you all!!

posted at 10:04 AM


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Some photos I promised of Dragonica boss maps.

Recommended lvl, 35 and above.


This map sucks because the rewards you get is the same as White Tooth's and the experience gain is very low. Do this just for quest sake. Recommended lvl, 28 and above.


He may look cool but he is weak! CHeck out his health. At most he have is 200K.


Goin to sleep soon I guess. I went to sleep for a while in the evening and I woke up at 10+pm. When Dragonica-ing for a while until I levelled up to 35 and I stopped for now. It's very difficult to level up at my level now. Especially if your Class is Gladiator. Single combat isn't recommended plus a Jester, Acolyth or BattleMage at my level can easy breeze through most of the maps that I'm trainin now at so you can say that they can level up faster than me.
Well, that's all for DGN for now. School wise, everythin is ok but they have the temperature check ups procedures to do everyday but I'm ok with that. They give out stickers to all students who have been checked and for those who lose it, must retake the procedures again. So far, it seems that I'm the only student that collects the stickers coz I never take them off from my uniform even till today. Kinda lazy to take them out. My first sticker was on Tuesday, 7th july, bcoz there was no class for me on Monday. Athena was happy yesterday in class as some of my classmates tried my headphone for a while and being careful with her. They really like the sound quality (hehehe... who won't?) and one of my classmate called her, "Heavenly Headphone". All of my classmates that had try the headphone said they if they have somethin like this, it way too sufficient for them already. Kinda glad to hear that. Guess they are into sound quality than design.
Well, that's all for now. It's 1.45am already so I guess I'll take my nap. See ya!

posted at 1:24 AM


Monday, July 6, 2009

Hello there. It's been quite awhile since I last drop by huh? Hehe.. I'm fine thank you.. or maybe just a little stress. Okok... you got me there. Hehe!! Today I had no class due to.. err... I don't know the reason yet but I'll ask my class advisor tomorrow morning. *sigh* I really don't feel like goin to school tomorrow... why must there be no school today instead of tomorrow? I even asked my mum if I can just stay home and expect her to scold or somethin but instead she ask me whether was I serious bout it. Hehe...


Been playin dragonica non-stop for the remain week till today. Damn tired and it makes me feel like I got no life. true I guess. I got nothin to do with noone to ask out with either. If I have the time, I'll post some screen shots of some of the bosses that I fought with and damn, they sure will piss you off if you aren't careful while tryin to defeat them. Wow... the monitor screen really looks different. That' because I'm usin my dad's PC monitor for a while. It's good for games too! Love the videos that is being played when I play some of my video games. Hehe.. Big screen mah. I'm plannin to support this great game, Dragonica, that I'm playin by occasionally buyin the cash cards to buy some in-game items and accessories. Just for fun and to save some golds in the game for pots. But I don't wanna call this game as my life like some gamers do when they are too into one particular game. So yea, you don't have to worry bout that part.


I wonder what am I goin to do tomorrow... 7 of July... It's here... finally... I was so eagerly waitin for this day to arrive last year as it marks... ah damn... stupid eyes... sorry bout that. It marks the beginnin of the most beautiful thing in my life. But now... I feel weightless in this atmospheric world of mine... as if no gravity of joy and relief is pullin to the ground as I drift across the air of despair and sadness... Just kiddin!! I ain't that sad. Really! The tears in my eyes? OH!! Err... those are.. dust! Yea dust!! Hey! My mum falls for it so you should too! Hehe.. Yea, I am sad but just a little to say coz the rest is deep inside. I just hope noone is worried coz, hmm... why ah? Oh! Well, since worryin only is pointless because there's nothin can be done at the moment. I feel like gettin somethin for myself tomorrow to celebrate this solo anniversary of mine since my baby is no longer with me. It does hurt and kinda stupid to be buyin somethin for yourself and sayin, "happy anniversary!!" to yourself but hey, my stupidity has no end.


Any other suggestions? My handphone is on the whole day so if others wanna meet me I don't mind. DOn't worry, I won't be botherin any one of the people who will be meetin me later with a sad face. I'll just try my best to put an honest smile on this horrid face of mine. Hehe... my self confidence is long gone, I think around a few months ago? Hehe.. I can still joke bout it. Hehe... you not laughin? Guess it's not funny huh? Oh well... If everythin goes well, I think I'll be meetin Kel later on. Gotta put a strong face tomorrow Naz! *Puff cheek* I know I can coz I got a rubber face talent!


One last before I end for today, do you ever thought that somewhere out there, someone or angels or God or the Devil or maybe all three is watchin you right now and laughin at you? I feel that way currently. Laughin at me for being an idiot, for being pathetic, seekin and lookin for somethin aimlessly, breakin down once too often for no apparent reason, hopin for miracles to happen, persistent, afraid amd just plain stupid and hopeless. I don't know why I feel that why but yea, that's how I feel though. Maybe God is like thinkin that this boy (me) is prayin to him to help me but I am so confused and doin things that brings me away from what I wished and prayed for and not opening my mouth to say any words to that person, not even a word of appreciation. Yea... He should be laughin at me for doin the opposite and runnin away while he is, maybe, tryin to help me. The Dev should be laughin at me coz I am just too entertainin to observe. A human that is trapped in an comedy of sin and confusion. Maybe he is thinkin, "I don't need to influence this boy. What he is doin to himself is too much that I don't even need to give him a little push to go crazy or confused and away for what he wants. Ahaha.."


Then for the angels, maybe they are laughin at me for wishin for that angel to come back while I am just a mere human with no rights. With such being, which angel would fall for him and wishin is all he is capable of? But that is what I thought of only. For others case, hmm... maybe they are thinkin, "hell with this guy? Too pathetic I'd say! Ahahaha!! Did you take a look at that face of him? Lookin all so pitiful~ Oh look! He is runnin away again! Ahahaha!! Where you goin little boy? Lost your mother? Ahahaha!!" Yea... this is the kind of thoughts that I am havin... maybe I'm just too pathetic to be a man huh? Let alone, being a normal human. Sometimes I wonder why am I not like some typical boys and men out there. No girls no cry. Lose one? Can find antoher one. Snap my fingers and ten will come to me. This world is like an ocean filled with many fishes. Don't like one? Catch another. Lose a girl and can't forget that part so soon like the next day. But I'm not like that... should I be happy for being different than normal guys?


All I know is that I am similar to my old group. Heart and mind alike. This is what that makes me different and I can counter those words above. No girls? Of course no cry coz I don't fall for girls. I fall for a girl and not girls. Once you lose somethin precious, it may take a long time to recover it back or you not be able to at all. Why do I want to snap my fingers to call ten girls and why do I need that much? I only love one out of millions. This world may be like a vast ocean but I'm not fishin for fishes, I'm searchin for a mermaid in this beautiful ocean y swimmin and not fishin. I will always have memories of events that took place in this world, be it good or bad and if you true cherish someone, you will never forget that person no matter the time. I guess I shud be happy huh? At times, I wish I was all of those people in my old group. That includes her too.


Being strong headed and mature like Lalah. Able to make decisions and stick with it. Being calm, happy and handsome like Hamster. Takin things show and steady. Being as blur yet calm and able to analyse things like Chick. Able to look into situations correctly and making right decisions and calm. Being carefree at times, cool headed, easy going, patient and mature like Kelvin. Able to take things easy and doing things to bring your mind away from stuff and telling yourself, "don't worry so much. Things will get better so there's no need to worry. Just take it easy." Being cute, at times harsh and strict, patience ad loving like Yat. Able to make firm decisions and be confident bout yourself whil being cute at it. And lastly, being cheerful, sweet, confident, playful, sociable, strong headed and loving like CR. Like a sunshine that brightens up people's day the moment they look at her and her sweet smile while being playful and sociable to entertain and play with your friends. I guess I am like the bottom one if being compared by looks, personality and attitude. Hehe...


I'll end here for now. Gettin sleepy. See ya... (can I just like... die tomorrow or somethin and come back alive the next day?)

posted at 11:31 PM