Thursday, June 24, 2010
I am but just a vessel for my soul and yet, it is this vessel that faces, sees and feels the pain, the sorrow and the joy of this world. What is it's purpose and what is my purpose? Is it to help? To see? To seek? To pursue? To correct a past sin? To destroy one another? To heal those who are wounded or to just exist?
Perhaps I am blind. Perhaps I am oblivious to my surroundings. But I only knew one and that is to follow one own heart. It is like my eyes that see the inner world of the outside, realistic world of life. It is the very being that makes me different and as Naz that I am now and in the past. In my name, heart and soul, I swear an oath to stand by your side, Hime-sama. I am yours, as a companion, as a friend, as your faithful butler, as that someone special in your dearest heart and as your hubbie~ With this love and heart of mine, I'll be here and support you, my love. Through thick and thin.
With the post above, please don't be alarm. I mean no harm to anyone. It's just a thought that runs through my mind for severals years now, for the first portion I mean. As to my dear wifey, worry not baby~ I'll always be here for you even in times of need or during your hard times. Be it joy or sorrow, we'll share and and pour to each other. I'll be hear to support you, my princess.
You need not need to apologise to me baby. You did no wrong to me. Even if you did and I don't realise it until my princess comes to me and apologise, it's alright. For the fact that my princess is able to see and admits her mistakes, it's more than enough for me uh baby. To me, I don't deserve such words of apology from my baby. Not because it's to great that I can't forgive but it's because... I've hurt her many a times... do you think, I can be forgiven? But to my dearest, no matter what mistakes that may occur in the future or present, I will always forgive you for you have never meant to do it on purpose or for your own benefits. So for our side of the story, please don't feel bad. ^^ I'm yours remember? And yours alone.
With love,
I love you the most, baby~ ♥
posted at 11:02 PM
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Honestly speaking, I don't really have much to tell you bout Zanzan. If I may, I want to talk a little bout streetfest. Honestly, I owe both of them more than just an apology, especially to wifey.. I owe her not only my oath but also, an action. I feel so bad and lost... I don't even know how to make it up to her. That day has scar her mind of what I did into her heart and mind... I ignored her most of the time and all were accidental but, there is no excuses for that. I feel like, I may be intelligent in somethin but I'm also retarded on the other... I failed to keep my promise and my apology.... God, even if I pray to you, will her pain go away? I don't want to be forgiven for that... I just don't feel that I deserve that forgiveness from her for this situation... I'm really sorry..I'll take full responsibility and the blames upon myself. Even if things does get a bit difficult for the three of us, I deserve it. I can't be pardon from that sin that I've made. But, I'll try to do somethin to make her feel better even if it takes a long time.Next, I would like to thank both my wife and Kaile for their countless prayers for me. I appreciate it a lot. Really really. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks. But... now I beginnin to wonder whether, do I realy deserve such kindness? I'm not doubtin any of you but I'm doubtin myself and my actions. Ah, pardon me for sayin such. Please don't be offended by that statement. I'm sorry...Ah yes, before I end this convo of ours, may I share with you that my grandmother from m'sia have come over and resting here for the night? She brought along my gift, a laptop, as she once promised me. It great and I really appreciate it but... I still don't like her for all those things that she once done to my sis and mum before... forgive me grandmum... and thank you for the gift.
posted at 11:01 PM
