Sunday, June 13, 2010

Honestly speaking, I don't really have much to tell you bout Zanzan. If I may, I want to talk a little bout streetfest. Honestly, I owe both of them more than just an apology, especially to wifey.. I owe her not only my oath but also, an action. I feel so bad and lost... I don't even know how to make it up to her. That day has scar her mind of what I did into her heart and mind... I ignored her most of the time and all were accidental but, there is no excuses for that. I feel like, I may be intelligent in somethin but I'm also retarded on the other... I failed to keep my promise and my apology.... God, even if I pray to you, will her pain go away? I don't want to be forgiven for that... I just don't feel that I deserve that forgiveness from her for this situation... I'm really sorry..

I'll take full responsibility and the blames upon myself. Even if things does get a bit difficult for the three of us, I deserve it. I can't be pardon from that sin that I've made. But, I'll try to do somethin to make her feel better even if it takes a long time.

Next, I would like to thank both my wife and Kaile for their countless prayers for me. I appreciate it a lot. Really really. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks. But... now I beginnin to wonder whether, do I realy deserve such kindness? I'm not doubtin any of you but I'm doubtin myself and my actions. Ah, pardon me for sayin such. Please don't be offended by that statement. I'm sorry...

Ah yes, before I end this convo of ours, may I share with you that my grandmother from m'sia have come over and resting here for the night? She brought along my gift, a laptop, as she once promised me. It great and I really appreciate it but... I still don't like her for all those things that she once done to my sis and mum before... forgive me grandmum... and thank you for the gift.

posted at 11:01 PM