Saturday, August 21, 2010
Gosh... I have something to admit to you Zanzan. Never have I been this desperate for an item.... What's the item I'm mentioning? It's an Ipod Touch... I don't know why but I really want it... i could just like literally beg everyone for it. I've pestered my mum from time to time bout it for years now and I've done the same to my dad too... I scared I might just one day turn to my friends and beg them for one instead...
Damn Naz... why am I having such a strong obsession over it... I thought if I leave it be, in time, I would not want it but.... it seems that that plan has clearly failed for me. My only option is to save my own pocket money.... I can't work due to time constrain. My family isn't financially stable too....
Honestly speaking, I know that this is the worst thing a brother can ever think of but I just feel like going to Kai and beg on all four for him to help me.... God... what has become of me... If you are reading this Kai, I'm terribly sorry... I just can't help it... I hope this will go away soon... I can never buy an Itouch... but why do I still have this stupid mindset...
posted at 2:11 PM
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Yesterday was.... like the most depressing day for both of us.... why? Well... I've made her sad upset once again.... I didn't something that... most couples would do and I don't blame her for feeling like that.... Fault does goes to me, no matter the reason... no wonder some teachers and some relatives of mine sees me as someone really stupid, slow and a moron... but thats alright. Really. I know myself too well and I accept this fact of my side... There is one more side that many don't know and that is, I am a coward. Not physically but it's what I say is my strength which is words.
But, am I entirely that useless? Haha... look at me, asking you this kind of questions... Haha. Sorry Zanzan. sometimes a guy needs to say a few things out you know but in a neutral manner. Poor, average, stupid, enough and sick... this words rings in my mind... louder and louder as I become empty. Each time I look in the mirror, I see only a figure that hurts that one person and one that is of all talk and empty...
I feel so... lonely... so so lonely... and so cold... my warmth... I don't want it to fade away... I don't want to lose those warm hands that embraces me... please don't... please...
posted at 12:39 AM
