Saturday, November 20, 2010

Zanzan! Please help me! I'm losing her! I'm losing her due to my fault... I couldn't defend her and I only made matters worst with the wrong choice of words and without properly elaborating them... but I don't wish to lose her! She's my angel... My goddess... someone I look up to for support and strength... she someone prefer in my eyes. But... all that... wil be all gone soon...I can't take this pressure.. the only thing that is in my mind is, "it's my fault" and "I deserve all this for being a bastard and a jerk towards her". Even if I cry out blood, it still won't change the fact I've hurt her so much and that I'm worst than a bastard..more stupid than an idiot and much more useless and hopeless than anyone...

I'm lower than dirt... She's done so much to make me happy.. but why can't I do just that too... I've made her happy but.. I don't feel I'm doing it at the same level... oh no... I just received a few text messages... Zanzan... I'm sorry... but I have to leave for now...I am at lost and Im breaking down.. getting over something... Is not something I prefer.... I can never getting over her... thats the honest truth.. she made an impact in my life... so much.. I've remembered from the first time I know her til now...

Zanzan, I'll be leaving for now.. I'll be back later.. i hope..

posted at 9:44 AM