I am a jerk... a moronic jerk... I'm a bloody idiot... I just made her upset again... I kept disappointing her time and time again... god... why is it so wrong to hear either side... each side seems unhappy bout something... I'm sorry baby but I don't want to cut down too much time on our meeting uh.. and I've made up my mind for now. I'll listen to you..
Hey there Zanzan! You know, I've been ill since Thursday. I first had symptoms of me having fever during dinner with my wife and Kai. I did inform them but I myself didn't really take much heed because I thought a sudden increase in my usual warm body temperature and sore throat. The worst came on Friday and Saturday. My temperature suddenly shoot up to 40+ degrees... But I can't just abandon my wife because of my illness so I head straight to her house after my class. Initially I was alright and all and I tried to put up a strong front.
But all of it was uncovered when she hugged me. XD My body temperature was waaaaaayyyy higher then usual. I got her worried sick of course and I still felt bad until today... I even troubled her... When I myself couldn't take the high fever, I asked if I could rest instead. Several minutes later, she asked me to rest on the floor instead with a blanket covering the floor for me and she rush to the kitchen. She took with her a towel and a basin containing water and ice cubes. She patiently and diligently soak the towel into the freezing water and gently dabbing it on my upper body and forehead. Even though I was shivering so much and distracting her but with a gentle voice she said, "Tahan alright baby~? This is all for your own good."
After dabbing and changing the basin water several times, she gave herself a rest and sleep soundly beside me. Even though she mentioned my temperature was still high, she meant well. She was actually concern as to why my temperature was still high after all that... But all went well soon after. My temperature did went down considerably. We went for dinner and the only thing I could eat was porridge but it was a satisfying meal. (Hope I get to taste her home-made porridge next). But when I'm my way home... my temperature sky rocket again due to travelling... Worried not only my wife by my mum too.
I told my mum what she did for me on Friday and in a way, my mum got jealous! XD She was like saying that this kind of thing usually mothers would do and some wives too. It's hard to see that in teenage relationships. But her face was a little towards the envious side. XD (Sorry mum! I slipped again!) Then on Saturday morning at around 4AM, my mum woke up early to check up on me and noticed that my temperature was still high. She took a whole lot more ice cubes (when you see the amount, you might just wanna freeze to death... XD) and cold water and a towel. She dabbed my forehead with it while I'm asleep. I freaking screamed in my sleep for a few seconds and she thought my soul just jumped back in or something... XD
I screamed like this, "AAAARRRRGGGHHHHhhhhh....". And afterwards, I fall back to sleep~ XD
posted at 9:41 PM
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Do you see how nice this blog is now decorated? It spells total awesomeness!! It's just shouts "beautiful" on my face~ Just like that. This blogskin is created to my baby for finding it and surprising me at the same time too~ I'm still taken back by it! I really, really, really LOVE IT so much uh~! I told her this before that I really love this kind of artwork but I'll repeat this again. I am a guy that really adores and prefers this kind of artwork and even though that this may seem simple to many eyes, if in terms of artwork or skins or stickers, this is my number one art favourite~!!
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVEEEEEE IT~!! This is even better than all the previous skins that I have used before~ It's even better than the chibi halloween one~! XD How I wish I can express myself better to her than just by words alone.... Oh well... when the time comes, I'll do it! Be a man Naz! XD I'm missing her... I've been missing since after I left just now but I'm missing her more after all that she has done for me uh... not just today... everything... from all her sacrifices that she has made from staying home just to see me, having to lie to her mum to just stay home... putting up with my attitudes and behaviours at time... for guiding me and patiently teaching every time I make a mess, troubling her and being slow so often...
I miss her scoldings too... Only when I do something wrong that is. I miss the way she smiles. The way she greets me. The way her body moves and shakes. The way she caress and kisses me. Oh.... the way her lips always finds it place perfectly on mine and when she rest on my chest so comfortably... I miss all of this... so so so much... Bie... I miss you so much uh... I love you so much more uh! Every time I close my eyes, your image always appears in my mind. When I close my heart, to ask questions and seek comfort some times, I feel your loving warmth every time. You are my wife baby~ And I really hope one day, I can have your hand in marriage. Seeing you all smiling, wearing that beautiful white wedding gown and saying, "Our wish finally came true hubbie~".
I guess I'll end it here first uh. Be seeing soon uh! *Grabs tissue* Hehe~ My eyes are a little teary from all that uh. Bie~, you are the only one that I love and I hope I will only love you and it will blossom more and more uh~! I love you so much baby~! Remember our wish uh! When there's hope, there is a way!
By the way, thanks to Yat for fixing the numerous errors for this blogskin uh~ Credits most go to these two people but more towards my baby for she help to find this beautiful and awesome skin uh~! Thanks again uh Baby and yat! Byebye~
posted at 9:15 PM
Friday, January 7, 2011
Just got home from school but I'll be returning back again later at 3 for my last class. There's a 3 hours gap in between the first and last class. So yeah. I headed home first uh. I'll be seeing her later too. ^^ I feel happy but at the same time, I'm worried bout her. She's affected once again by how she and other people around her view her body figure... That is really something to be bothered about. Even if that doesn't concern me much, her well-being is something that is of my concern..
She has made her mind for going for a jog every time the opportunity arise. That, I won't mind at all. It does help in training for 2.4 too. Don't worry, I'll be joining her too. But the next one really drives me nuts but I can't do anything bout it. She is planning on going for a diet by only eating one meal everyday and no carbo content either.... The no carbo part is alright with me but 1 meal a day... that is worrisome... God... please give her strength and make that desire of her to be slim come true. Seeing her not smiling and depressed isn't good for me. I don't feel angry but I feel low... It's like, she is feeling like that and there's nothing I could do to make her feel better.
The only thing that I can do is to support her and monitor her well-being and to join in the training regime.
posted at 12:28 PM
Monday, January 3, 2011
Our one year anniversary finally came and I am thrilled by it even now! It's not just the fact the we lasted for a year already but also because we have endured all the problems and difficulties together and got through it all together. It makes me really happy to know that uh~! But I feel extremely bad. Because on our anniversary, I didn't get anything for her just yet or make a big or some sort of celebration to mark this special day... T3T She said it was alright and that seeing her on that special day means a lot to her but... but... I still feel low...
Not only that. I've made promises to her that I will return home by 11pm on that day but I broke that promise and returned home only at 2+am... I was under my mum strict rules of following her... and I made my baby waited for nothing... thats the worst part. I got her really angry... We never spoke on the phone for almost the whole morning and afternoon. She was too upset with me and I don't blame her... Imagine yourself in her position and you will understand her... To make things worst, some time in the late afternoon, she sms me to give her a call but I was bathing and by the time I got to my phone, I saw her angry message saying, 'Nevermind. Forget it.'
Guilt and grief strangled me when I saw that message... There was no excuse for me not to return that call... Eventhough she is partially alright now, I know that deep in her heart, she hates me for this reasons and many more... I don't even know how to properly make it up to her uh... honest. But that's no excuse either. I have to be responsible for my actions. I'm really sorry baby for hurting you... I'm really sorry...
Words of apology aside, I need to save up real hard to make it up to her. On my list are a few things I must get for her. One would be a decent celebration uh. I feel like finding a part time job every Saturday and Sunday. I feel very bad every time she sees something online or outside and that I can't buy anything much for her... I'l try my best to find a part time job that is flexible uh. In the mean time, please be patient uh bie!
Before I end here, I would like to ask for my forgiveness to my Goddess of love. I'm am truely for all the misdeeds that I had done and I know that I will repeat or make new ones and I hope you will forgive me when that happens and continue to guide my wrongs to rights. You are the reason that I am in love again. You gave me the support that I need and you gave me the kind of love that I ever wanted. I hope I'll be able to make you smile a little more often in months to come uh bie. I love you and Happy first anniversary~!
posted at 11:02 AM
