I am well aware that apologies meant a little with often mistakes that I've made and they keep adding on in her heart...please don't blame her for feeling that way. She is just an innocent Princess with a golden heart and feelings. We men can take such things easy but we must not forget that there are others that aren't like us or like me as a matter of speaking...

Don't tell me to stop condemning myself... I can't. The tears that she shed leads to a result of me taking away one of her most beloved gifts and that is her smile, joy and laughter... I couldn't even do the most basic of loving her or respecting her requests... I can't even hold her properly and securely and make her feel loved by me... I'm beyond pathetic... My selfish attitude of taking things easy and procrastinating has led me into hurting my beloved angel. The special Goddess that God has sent to me, to love me proper and nourish me with her guidance, love and teachings and removing away the evil that my past had done onto me...

But what did I do or treated my loving angel that is always by my side? I neglected her and took her for granted.... I neglected my duties as her husband and I slowed down in showing my affections to her. My wife, not just some body or anybody but someone I love truly so much... How could I... I'm such a fucker...Even God is refusing to hear my prayers of making me into a better person and improving our relationship...

I want to hurt her no more. I fear my Goddess would refuse me and forbid me from embracing her... I'm afraid it might be too late or my efforts to be futile... God, I love her so so much... please, I beg you, let me succeed in winning my Goddess heart and love again. Let me be a proper husband and appreciating every little things that she do for me and learn from her as she shapes me to be a better adult. Baby...will you allow me to love you once again and to do my very best to make things right and ease you? I want to wash myself clean from my past disgust, gross and sinful deeds and appear to you as an upright and a proper man for you to love. I want to love and be with you like how I once was. I miss being myself... I want to return back to all those wonderful times and having you to love me again without worries. I'll do my best to improve myself and to keep you close.

I'll be a jerk no more and be your best devotee you have ever loved and embrace. I promise you baby. I won't stop loving you and cherishing you till the day I stop breathing and my eyes close. I want to spend my remaining time with you, making sweet memories together. Kissing, cuddling and teasing one another till the day turns to dusk... I love you so much baby. I'll make you trust me fully again. I promise.

<3