Well, I can say that I am happy and not at the same time. Happy she is able to swim once again but not really happy because I am not there and eyes will be on her... Ah, gomen... I'm that sort of husband uh. Anyone can see in normal clothes but if she wears a little too revealing ones, without me near by, I feel either worried, angry, sad or jealous uh. I mean, I grew up with male friends who are rather, inappropriate in their behaviour and their eyes especially. So yeah... I tend to go overboard with my thoughts. I never think ill of my wife so please don't worry bout that. It is because I trust her a lot. So much actually and I love her too much too. ><

I always have bad impression of any guys unless they are my friends and if I know them for a very long time. By long time, I don't mean entirely by duration but more towards knowing the person's inner character, the core character or the heart character. I believe, the core character which is to me, like the person's soul can't change. It's like pre-built-in from young.

Anyway, I'm missing her so much right now. Tomorrow is Hari Raya... I never look forward to it like everyone else does. Nothing special to me uh. Just like any ordinary day. People are the ones that gave it a meaning for celebration. Other than that, nothing else in my opinion. I've been sad for almost every Hari Raya... Listening to those nostalgic songs, makes me remember the person that I've lost.. Which is only one person. My great grandmother. But this year, it's something special. I feel 3 times more sorrow, much more emptiness... Because, the person I love, isn't around with me... She is still in Malaysia..

When she comes back, I'm going to hug her so firmly and feel all of her with my hands and skin. I miss her smiles, her lips, her curvy figures, her hair, her physical presences and many more... When she comes back, I'm going to let out the most childish/softest "mmmmm" or "fieeeee~" through the phone uh! It's a honest sign that I miss her so much and feel really relieve that she have reach home safely.