Monday, March 9, 2009

I've been through all sorts of stuffs in life. Good times and bad times, but it seems like I can't make things right. Always there to anger someone without really knowin what I really did. It could be just by havin myself appearin in front of someone, my face, my reaction, my tone, my words or it could just be as simple as a question, is enough to make someone angry with me. Is there anyone out there who is as stupid as me in this part of life? If there is, please raise up your hand... none? Just as I thought...I am the only person who can be this idiotic. MAke a mess and doesn't know how to clear it up.



Life have not be really good in my story yet. One example is when something good happens, there's bound to be a list of bad stuffs just waitin to happen. I'm use to that kind of stuff but one thing that still don't get the hang of it yet is the moment I try to do somethin good and things can just backfire at me and things may gets worst. I've been through that shit many times and trust me, I don't like it one bit!



Some find me rather intalkative. Someone who doesn't talk much. So I so my best to talk. Most of the time others find me fun and entertainin to communicate with. Others find me a person whom they can relay their problems with and seek advice. But at times I accidentally piss people off by talkin over somethin that they don't like. I don't talk bout sensitive stuff for I know that isn't right or bout personal issues. Askin too many questions and talkin random also tends to anger others. I understand that but for those who are aroud me aren't usually affected by that. what's makin them behave in such manners? I wonder...



And now, things like this are makin me think that talkin isn't really the best option for myself. What do I look forward to in life, you ask? Well.... there's nothing much that I look forward too. I can't be happy either. I'm losing so many and I gain so few. It's a definite that I'm goin to lose my house. My girl? That is somethin rather somplicated. I won't lose her just yet but it's a confirmed thing in her mind. Me? Why do you bother askin? I keep one tellin others to just find thier own happiness never look back at me to see whether am I doin fine...that will just hinder your own progress in life... I have only one purpose of mine in life and that is to guide, help and accompany those who are in need.

Even if one day I become like Sephiroth or Byakuya, a person who shows no expression or mercy, I will still feel a touch of pain and guilt. I will always be there to help even if I become like them. I... I will still wait and love that very person that I have cared for the most. Even if I keep a distance from her, I will still watch and care for her. But I shall keep this feelin to myself...











I am sorry....

posted at 5:12 PM